Tuesday 15 April 2014

I hate Houston

The good thing about bad places is that it gives me time to work on my blog.

And, to be fair, I’m sure Houston is not ALL bad.  I just happen to be staying in the parking lot of a mall.  And it’s not even a good mall.  (Are there good malls?)

After EVERYTHING-IS-AUSTIN (post to be written imminently) and Ft-very-Worth-my-while, Houston is a major disappointment.  I’ve been informed that although I only have two armpits, Texas has three:  El Paso, Brownsville, and the largest, where yours truly finds herself right now.

In Ft Worth I met my new BFF.  Unfortunately, he never leaves his porch, so I’m unlikely ever to see him again.  In Austin, well, everything was awesome and now….well…I guess I had to come down somewhere, right?

Don’t misunderstand me.  I know that Houston is filled with fabulous people.  I just haven’t met them yet.  And wonderfully inspiring places.  I just haven’t been there.

I tried to go for a bike ride upon arrival.  The hotel passed me a rusted out clunker and the chain fell off within the first 100 metres.  Fortunately, I’m a former bike mechanic (though I never was a very good one), so I managed to limp the bike back to the hotel.  People looked at me very strangely as though to say, ‘Ahem, ma’am, people don’t do that here.’  Oh wait, nobody has yet called me ‘Ma’am’ in that drawling, adorable way.  That’s most likely the real reason that has kept me from having a good time in Houston.
I really should give the place a chance. 
Alright Houston, you've got twenty hours.

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